Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I'm so...emotionally distraught...

I don't know what it is, but sometimes these really strong feelings come over me & I just can't help but let them out. These feelings are of a loneliness I have never felt. It's the craziest thing because no matter how much I know he loves me, and no matter how many times I talk to him on the phone a day, I just can't help but miss him in a crazy & overwhelming way. I came to Texas so I would be surrounded by my friends and family & so I wouldn't have to worry about ever being lonely while he was gone. We thought this would be the "solution" to making this deployment easier, & don't get me wrong, I love spending time my family & would never want to be left in NC by myself, but there is just a weird void that none of them could ever fill. This void is the one that only a husband can fill. Sometimes I just need to feel his hugs & maybe I need a kiss on my forehead every once in a while. But the bottom line is, he is really a huge part of who I am and who I want to be now. No amount of friends or family can take his place, not even for just a couple months. I just genuinely miss him being around every day. This has been a lot harder on both of us than I think either of us imagined it would be. We're staying strong and keeping our spirits up, but sometimes I just have to let it out. I love my family and every minute I spend with each person in it. I wouldn't trade this time that I'm spending with them for anything in the world...except maybe for my baby to come home and spend it with me. That's all I hope for...and in a few "short" months, that dream will come to life...I just have to be patient.

3 comments:

cassandralynne. said...

*sigh* My words exactly. No one quite fills that void like our boys.

Chelsey's Chatter said...

awww..poor girls..I'm praying for both of you..you both make marriage sound so wonderful :0)

The Holik's said...

It takes an amazing woman to go through what you and Cassandra are going through. I am praying for strength to make it through.