I Butt I Can :)

As I sat back and watched tonight's episode of The Biggest Loser (while chomping on a HUGE Valentine's Hershey Kiss, thank you hubby), I began to comtemplate what it would take inside of me to make me push myself to my true limits in the gym like they do on the show. I remember some REALLY challenging and miserable volleyball and soccer practices back in my super-athlete days, some of which I have tried to push out of my memory. Of course the miserable ones were the ones that made me stronger, but still, BAD memories. Ha. I know B0b & Jillian would both easily break me, and I'm really not sure I would ever want to give them the opportunity to do so. But, it still makes me ponder how much it would take and if my inner-strength would shine in those moments. I have about 12 pounds that I would LOVE to lose. I have been stuck at my current weight for going on 2 1/2 years now (of course, including but disregarding prego time). These 12 pounds would put me at the same weight that I was when I graduated college & also at the most healthy weight for my height and build. This feat is taunting me and is on my mind every day. The only thing holding me back from getting this weight off is myself. I realize that. I know I am so capable of getting to the place I want to be, but I have never had the self-motivation and full determination that it takes to truly get after it and make things happen. I did the calculation & losing 12 pounds is the equivalent of burning and/or eliminating 42,000 calories. Just a tip, never, ever, do such a calculation because WHOA, that sounds beyond daunting. Luckily, and probably a direct result of chasing a one-year-old around, I have managed to get back to my pre-baby weight minus 2 pounds. That was a happy day for me. This year, I have really been trying, note the 'trying', to focus more on me than I have in the past year. Once you have a baby, it is very easy to focus all of your attention on their needs while yours get pushed to the wayside. Chad & I competed in our first half-marathon this February and really enjoyed the experience. In 3 weeks, we are competing (for fun) in an ultimate 3.24 mile run & obstacle course with a group of friends. The run is known as the Warrior Dash & looks like so much fun, but a huge challenge too. These are things that I can train for & because we are considering the addition of another child sometime next year (God willing), I want to take this time to really get myself back to what I want to be...comfortable & happy in my own skin. Truthfully, I want to put my one-piece from last year away and be able to comfortably and confidently rock a bikini again this summer (stretch marks and all)! I guess I'm going to have to focus my efforts, get my butt off of the couch, & tape Bob & Jillian's voices yelling at me while I workout. A little everyday gets you one step closer, right? Well, that's all of my workout word-vomit for now. I'll keep you posted on my accomplishments...or not. :) I'm going to head to bed and picture myself skinny...yea, that should work. (Sorry this post is all one paragraph...for some reason Blogger is preventing me from having breaks between my paragraphs...annoying.)