Hmmm....

Needless to say these past 2 days have been, unfortunately, full of stress and unhappiness, and I will tell you why. It all started Monday afternoon when Chad came home while he was supposed to be at work to tell me the bad news. Before I break the bad news, I'm going to go ahead and take the liberty to remind you that he was just overseas from October to February 20th...this one that just passed. It's only been about 3 and 1/2 months since he got home and I got to have my husband back. We have just gotten back into our routine of life here in NC and I was finally in the middle of attempting to get my after-college career started. I've taken my real estate class, taken my test (which, luckily, I feel pretty good about... I'll find out my scores in the next week sometime), and am set and ready to take the license exam in a couple of weeks. I already had a potential job lead through a friend of Chad's that's best friends with a real estate gu-ru here in town. Things were looking up. I was excited about the thought of being able to contribute (monetarily) to our family again. And even more than that, to have a real everyday life where he goes to work, I go to work, we come home and make dinner, and spend the rest of the evening in happiness every night. Then the news...

Chad comes in with a serious demeanor and the goal of talking seriously to me about something (this is unusual behavior). He looks me in the eyes and says, "they just told me at work that I'm the primary alternate for the June deployment and that I should plan on going." My face probably turned white. I sat silent for a couple of minutes and then the tears began rolling down my face. At first I was hoping I heard him wrong and maybe he meant a year from now or something, but no. They are planning to take my baby away from me for another full tour only about a month from now. I still can't believe it. My heart is overwhelmed.

What to do with myself...go back to Texas to be with my friends and family for the summer? Postpone trying to get a job because if I do get one here, I'll be alone for the whole summer until my birthday in October? Go to Texas and get a job there? Take a couple months trip to Mexico to learn Spanish? Be a big girl and stay here to live life alone in this town I don't know very well still and in which I have very few contacts? It's a mess.

Luckily, my family is still coming to visit at the beginning of June and will be here to help me through the crappy times. We are just so frustrated at the system right now. We are trying to be positive for the sake of our well-beings, but it's really hard to keep your head up when you're thrown a life curveball like this one. I just want TIME, like REAL time to spend with my husband and be a happy, loving, uninterrupted married couple. Please pray for us right now because it's definitely taking a toll upon our hearts.

By the way, I didn't even mention all of the plans we had for these next couple of months that he's now going to miss. First is our first anniversary (very sad), then is Elya's wedding (which means a visit to TX), then Chad's birthday, then the Royal Caribbean cruise wedding for Joey & Laura (which we were both in the wedding party for), then my birthday, and hopefully soon after that, he'll finally be home again. GRRRRR. I'm done now.